I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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