Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
