Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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