I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize