Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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