Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
