he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
