do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize