check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
