lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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