quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
