I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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