Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im holly from the hills drunk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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