Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
