it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
