is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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