This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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