what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
