My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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