I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
