Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
