im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
