Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
