is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
