Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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