she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
