I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize