Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
His nipple licking is glorious
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