you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
