Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize