dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
