This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
