they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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