You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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