hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
