Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
