There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
