I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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