u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
