Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
