Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
