All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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