My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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