i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
