Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
