you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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