Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
