I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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