Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
