there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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