I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I could fuck to npr.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
