After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wow bdsm is so cute
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