I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
