Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
