Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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