She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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