Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize