So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the liver wants what the liver wants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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