I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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