Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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