What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
